(10:13 GM)
Last night, I had a session listening to ASMR and songs you listen to after a breakup. I wanted to sleep so badly. The reason why I listened to that shit was because I thought about her. The reason I thought about her was because I went to a party where her friends were my friends, but she wasn't invited because she isn't friends with the party boy. Anyways, those friends kept mentioning her beside me, or outright talking about her to me. I mean, I was satisfied with the information, but now I crave more.
Hardest thing about no-contact is the mutuals. Some will understand, some just don't know, some just don't care. These are the people that still light the spark: In my heart and under my butt.
Last night, I wanted to cry so badly. Not just for her, but for the decree and creation of God. I have to keep going for another month without praising Him. I feel so down right now, but this is the way to call for the storm. I need to output my energy in some way.
I remember my brother told me to not eat for comfort. I agree with him, because that leads to overeating. But when I'm depressed, I see that I dislike eating, and my appetite is still there, it's just that the want to eat is not more dehibilitating than the big sad.
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