( 11:58 GN )
Revelation has been bestowed upon me.
Why do I need to fulfill other people's wishes when instead I can follow the carnal, visceral desires that I can feel and that are more near and dear to me, meaning that they are the most tangible to me than another's wishes. Only if I have a mentor—or a person that I rely on fully—that's when it would work. However, I don't have that in my life, and I have to haul ass trying to figure that shit out. But I don't blame anybody in my life. Even if I say that "you did this", in reality, they didn't. I caused this upon myself, and I am currently living the destiny that has been shown to me.
What I realize is that presence is absolutely needed for a person to change his directory. But it often misses the aim of purpose. When you have the ability to feel at the present moment, you often confuse that with purpose. That is not purpose. Purpose is something outside of the present moment. It is the reason, but it isn't and doesn't. Me living in the present moment does not add to the purpose, because purpose is outside of the moment. If my purpose was to be present with God, then so be it, I will be present with Him. But then I have to remind myself of the purpose why I'm doing it. But there are some times where it feels very weird to do, and so I have to add more purpose onto it. I don't really see how purpose becomes purposeful. But then you have to add presence. Presence of the emotions there. But no, that is not it. There ar0e a lot of people that experience this thing called an "FTE", which is a "Fuck This" Event. It entails that many successful people have to go into this stage because the event was so repugnant and repulsive that that would be the lowest of the low to be in. And I have not experienced that because it doesn't really linger with me. Rather the environment that the situations